If you asked me to pick ten words to describe myself, I would interpret it as the greatest challenge ever. I’d politely ask to be excused, leave the room immediately, and retire to my cave on the edge of a vast sea near an ancient, haunted forest. Upon entering the cave I would put Journey’s greatest hits into the tape deck, remove my tunic, start juggling walnuts, and do some serious thinking. I’d ponder and delve, stop to make some toast, do a crossword puzzle, make more toast — this time with jam, stretch my lower back, and then a have a vision. With this vision burned into my mind, I’d step back into my tunic, remove the Journey tape, leave the cave, and return to the room to describe the vision thusly. (Only 13 seconds would have passed since I left you.) “I see three blue chickens driving a bus. They have blood lust in their eyes. They veer into a crowd of farmers, and all die in an apocalyptic inferno.” You would be intrigued, and we’d commit great crimes together, emboldened by our deep friendship and knowledge that the world will soon end.